It was a quick heist done in by “quick sand.”

A Florida man was arrested for stealing sand from a public beach after loading so much into his Ford F-150 that the wheels sunk into the ground, halting his getaway.

Cops soon showed up and discovered Brian Splain, 46, standing next to a hole in the beach. Naturally, he was dead drunk.

***

This sure saved everyone a lot of time.

Three women were arrested after showing up for a Florida drug hearing with drugs.

Among them, they had dozens of pills and a syringe, as well as a tourniquet.

All three were there to give urine samples to prove they were keeping up with their court-ordered drug treatment.

***

The problem is that they were playing for both teams.

Three bisexual men have filed suit in Seattle against the Gay Softball World Series, claiming they were not allowed to play because they were not gay enough.

The league argues that as a private organization, it is allowed to set its own membership rules.

***

You’re never too young to start doing something for your country.

An 8-year-old boy in Ukraine received a notice that he is being drafted into the army. When the kid’s parents alerted the military that it had made a mistake, they were told the boy would have to appear at the conscription center to prove it.

***

Nothing could go wrong here.

A Chinese zoo has been taking heat for allowing visitors to ride a tiger like a horse.

While minders keep an eye on the beast as people pose for photos, sane people argued it was not only “incredibly dangerous,” but amounted to animal abuse.