This guy’s body cavity seems more like the Grand Canyon.

A prison inmate in Wenatchee, Wash., smuggled in a cigarette lighter, rolling paper, a golf-ball-size bag of tobacco, another small bag of marijuana, a tiny smoking pipe, a bottle of tattoo ink and eight tattoo needles — all in his rectum.

The contraband was discovered after a worker found a plastic bag and duct tape in the toilet and questioned the man.

*

What Darth Vader really needed was a shrink.

French researchers have decided the embodiment of the dark side actually had borderline personality disorder.

Luke Skywalker’s father showed impulsive, paranoid and angry behavior and abandonment issues, said the researchers, who use Darth Vader as an example in classes at the Center for Studies and Research in Applied Psychology in France.

*

This bovine’s great escape earned her a pardon from the slaughterhouse.

A cow in Croatia was given a reprieve after she fled twice, spending 12 days on the lam.

*

Could be this little critter ended up a long, long way from home.

A kinkajou — a tiny, cuddly, furry creature with big ears and a long tail and a native of Central and South America — was found napping on a porch in Chicago, and no one knows where it came from.

Animal-control experts said it probably escaped from its owner.

*

The president of Uruguay says he lives in virtual poverty.

José Mujica, 75, claimed in sworn statements that his only asset was a 1987 Volkswagen Beetle.

The former leftist guerrilla apparently has no debts, no savings and no other property. He put his small flower farm in his wife’s name.