Hard times call for tough measures.

The Los Angeles County town of Maywood, Calif., is firing all its workers — including the entire police and fire departments — and outsourcing its municipal labor.

No, cop cars won’t be dispatched from India. The town’s paying the LA Sheriff’s Department to handle the job for $4 million in annual savings.

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A pregnant Nebraska woman says she was fired because her boss thought her fetus had a “negative agenda.”

Jammie Harms was a personal assistant at a home-building company, where, she claims in a suit, the CEO became convinced that the unborn child had a “negative agenda” and was “hostile.”

The CEO got all this from a psychic, who also told him the fetus knew him in a past life.

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US airlines may treat passengers like cattle, but they don’t hold a candle to one Irish carrier.

Ryanair has come up with a plan for standing-room-only flights, in which fliers are herded into pen-like “vertical seating,” where they’re basically strapped to upright panels.

The SRO spots will only cost $6, but passengers must use pay toilets.

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A new poll shows 8 percent of Russian people believe their nation will win soccer’s World Cup.

That would be a neat trick that only Vladimir Putin himself could rig, since the team failed to even qualify for the tournament in South Africa.

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Cops in Boulder, Colo., were flooded with calls that a leprechaun was on the loose.

The callers said a man dressed in leprechaun garb was spotted in a parking lot running between cars and making obscene gestures.

Cops found no one matching the description.