Modest fliers can buy a new product to keep their privates private.

“Flying pasties” come in a one-piece version for men and a three-piece set for women to wear when going through the new full-body scanners.

But a federal official warned that anything the scanners consider an “an anomaly” could result in additional screening — including a pat-down.

***

“You’re here to make an arrest? That’ll be $5, please.”

A cop in Laporte, Ind., was sent to the county fair to bust a fugitive.

That didn’t impress the gate attendant, who insisted the officer pay the full admission.

***

It sounded like a good idea, but the judge had too many reservations.

A Lima, Ohio, man claimed his American Indian descent allowed him to secede from the local government and form a reservation of one — which would exempt him from a law requiring him to clean up two dilapidated buildings he owns.

The bemused judge gave William Bowersock 30 days to make the eyesores presentable.

***

Residents of the tiny town of Vivian, SD, are doing some big-time bragging.

A hailstone weighing 1.9375 pounds fell during a thunderstorm.

“Officially, where records have been kept, this will be the US record and world record for weight,” said Mike Fowle of the National Weather Service. “So very impressive.”

***

Every bride and groom walk down an aisle — but it’s usually not lined with size-8 shoes.

Drew Ellis and Lisa Satayut, who said she’d always dreamed about getting married in a shoe aisle, got her wish at a T.J. Maxx in Mt. Pleasant, Mich.

“It was perfect,” the bride said afterward.

Her sister, Menah Troy, said, “It turned out really great. It was her.”