He just wanted more lettuce.

The world’s greediest bandit held up a Wendy’s in Atlanta and walked off with $586.

Then he called the store twice to complain it wasn’t enough.

“Next time, there better be more,” he said.

***

A Red Cross chapter in northern Ohio has an unusual offer for blood donors.

Anyone who signs up is eligible to win either a new car — or a horse-drawn buggy.

That’s because the chapter serves an area with a large Amish population, and it didn’t want to leave anyone out.

***

He put the ancient alchemists to shame.

It took teenager Steven Ortiz, of Glendora, Calif., two years, but he managed to turn an old cellphone into a 2000 Porsche Boxter with 14 creative Craigslist swaps.

Along the way, he briefly owned a dirt bike, a MacBook and a 1975 Ford.

“Anybody can do this as long as they put their mind to it,” the 17-year-old said. “That’s all it is — your mind and your patience.”

***

A judge in Westminster, Md., threw the book at a man who checked out the local library’s pet tarantula.

Randy Humple, 27, got 90 days for swiping Chili Rose, a Chilean rose spider that was on display in a cage at the info desk.

What Spider-Man did was “stupid on one level,” but it was also “criminal on another level,” said the judge.

Chili Rose was returned unharmed.

***

What an ash.

A fan of the incredibly popular British TV series “Coronation Street” paid more than $1,200 at an auction for the cremated remains of Frisky the Cat, who was featured in more than 1,000 episodes.

“It would make a nice cabinet display,” said a spokesman for the British auction house.