So who’ll play the Kevin Bacon character in this real-life “Footloose?”

Cleveland HS, in Portland, Ore., called off the winter formal after students refused to curb provocative, bump-and-grind dance moves.

Nothing the school did at and before previous dances worked — lectures, shining flashlights, and even T-shirts that said, “No bumping.”

***

A Gainesville, Fla., judge rejected a man’s request for restraining orders against President Obama, Heisman Trophy winner Tim Tebow and Jesus Christ.

John Gilliand wrote that all three were flashing gang signs at him.

After Gilliand was denied, he filed a new request — this time naming just Obama and Tebow.

***

Before visiting the frozen-food section, Mommy apparently hit the sauce.

Kimberly Marie Williams, 25, was found passed out in an Oklahoma City grocery store as her kids played nearby. When cops asked how much she had been drinking, she replied, “Not enough.”

***

A California judge resigned after a judicial oversight committee found she used her courtroom to shoot a reality-show pitch and frequently made off-color jokes from the bench.

San Diego County Superior Court Judge DeAnn Salcido once told a defendant he’d be “screwed” if he didn’t follow terms of probation, adding, “We don’t offer Vaseline for that.”

***

This was a Johnny Rotten and Sid Vicious way to treat kids.

A dozen students were suspended at Forks [Wash.] HS for wearing Sex Pistols T-shirts.

The students were acting in support of another student, who was wearing a Sex Pistols shirt earlier this week and was told to change. School officials claim students caused a disruption by handing out the shirts just before classes started.