You can bet your sweet glass that the feds haven’t caught the holiday spirit yet.

Los Angeles International Airport customs agents grabbed two decorative glass reindeer from a traveler arriving from El Salvador.

Agents said the art contained seeds and blades of grass that showed signs of disease, and could pose risks to native plants.

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Quick, someone call Ace Ventura!

Burglars struck a home in Wesley Township, Ill., swiping a shag rug, flat-screen TV, DVDs and video games, an 18-inch lizard and an autographed photo of “Pet Detective” Jim Carrey, cops said.

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This was one disgusting catfight.

Two unpleasant neighbors on Pleasant Street in Redding, Calif., got into a heated argument that ended with the combatants dumping ripe, chunky cat litter on each others’ property.

Cops were called but neither of the feline-eous foes was arrested.

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Christmas is about leaving cookies for Santa, not losing your cookies in a stranger’s home.

A drunken Lester Bagwell, 34, stumbled into a family’s home in Kokomo, Ind., refused to leave and then vomited — twice — in the bathroom, cops told WISH-TV.

Police hauled away the boozy, odiferous intruder.

***

Hello, Mr. Pot, Ms. Kettle, have you met the nation of Thailand?

The film board of the socially and sexually freewheeling nation has banned “Insects in the Backyard,” a movie about a transgender dad raising two kids.

“Backyard” director Tanwarin Sukkhapisit said the move shows Thailand’s conflict with gay and transgender issues — accepting in day-to-day life, but not so much with government leaders.