Forget the silver spoon. The kid might as well have been born with a dollar bill in his hand.

A man was rushing his wife, in labor, to a Texas hospital when their son started making his debut.

A 911 operator told pop to pull over and wait for police, and he did — in the parking lot of a strip club in Arlington.

Baby and mom are doing fine. It wasn’t known if dad took in the show.

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She’s unlikely to be named valedictorian.

Cops found a 2-year-old boy walking alone into traffic as a car approached — while his mother attended a parenting class in Charleroi, Pa.

The boy wasn’t harmed and the student-parent was not charged.

But cops did bust her boyfriend’s father and sister, who were supposed to be watching the toddler and a 4-month-old girl.

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Here’s a priest who knows how to turn wine into criminal charges.

A Byzantine Catholic cleric from Boston went on a wild rant after getting arrested for DUI.

He allegedly exposed himself to cops in his jail cell and made female officers blush with his blasphemy.

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While many people drink and drive, most stop once cops pull them over.

Not Ohioan Stephen Supers, who took a swig from a beer by his side and cheerfully answered, “Yes!” when the arresting officer asked if he’d been drinking.

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Along came a spider and sat down beside the gas tank of a Mazda.

The critter then spun a web in the car’s gas-line vent that caused so much “excessive vacuum” that the fuel tank cracked, engineers said.

The Japanese carmaker issued a recall to install anti-spider screens in thousands of cars.