We hope this isn’t the image the modern Army wants to project.

The cavalry charging into battle on horseback may be a bit out-of-date — but it sure beats a fairy riding a toad to a bus.

The US Army, facing public outrage, canceled a $600,000 plan to decorate its new bus station outside Washington with art — including a sculpture of a 10-foot-tall fairy on a gurgling amphibian.

***

A man walked into the West Fargo, ND, police station to ask for a gas voucher, which cops distribute to people short of cash who need emergency fill-ups.

The 19-year-old told the officers he had to get to a funeral in Wisconsin, and was asked for his registration and insurance data.

The officers noticed the car was registered to a service station and learned it had been stolen.

***

You don’t have to be a film star to be in “POM Wonderful Presents: The Greatest Movie Ever Sold.”

That will be the new, very long name of the Pennsylvania city of Altoona, which sold naming rights to itself to filmmaker Morgan Spurlock.

The flick will open in the town next Wednesday, when, for 60 days, the new name will go into effect.

***

Tell your anesthesiologist to get f – – ked and you may not need his services.

British scientists have found that cursing really does relieve pain.

Study participants placed their hands in painfully cold water.

People who shouted four-letter words during the experiment were able to hold out longer than those using polite terms.

***

Just in time for the royal wedding — a British brewer has created the first Viagra-laced beer.

The label trumpets the words: “Arise Prince Willie.”