Fat chance this bill will ever pass!

An Illinois lawmaker wants parents to lose the $2,000 state tax credit for a child if the kid is obese.

But colleagues of Republican state Sen. Shane Cultra said they want to find other ways to fight childhood obesity before levying a new tax.

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Memo to self: Bring bag to next bank robbery.

Joseph Price, 61, handed a note to a teller at the PNC Bank in Okeechobee, Fla., asking her to fill up a bag with cash, cops said.

But Price’s plans were foiled when the teller said she didn’t have a bag and the confused suspect fled on a bike, empty-handed. He was arrested seven minutes later.

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It’s the great canine escape.

Jack the German shepherd escaped from a Medford, Ore., veterinary clinic by pulling open his cage door and tripping the deadbolt on the building’s back door.

Jack also ripped open four bags of dog food and set off motion-detector alarms. He was found seven miles away, and vets declared him recovered from the flu.

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A Duluth, Minn., man was having a ball until cops showed up.

Christopher Neil Bjerkness, 33, broke into a school storage room in hopes of playing out his sexual fetish — slashing exercise balls with a knife, officials said. Bjerkness was compliant when staffers and cops showed up.

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A Seattle woman with terminal breast cancer was barred from a Korean Air jet because airline officials feared other passengers would be “traumatized” if she died in flight.

Crystal Kim, 62, had medical clearance to take the Seattle-to-Seoul flight, but Korean Air wouldn’t budge.

“It’s absolutely . . . heartless,” said her daughter.

Kim, who has about two months to live, was able to book a flight on Delta.