These guys sure aren’t driving Good Humor trucks.

Two ice-cream vendors in Uniontown, Pa., are locked in a heated rivalry and have accused each other of demolition-derby road-rage tactics on their shared routes.

Police are warning the Mr. Not-So-Softees: Behave or you’ll get your permits yanked.

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They’re prince and princess of NASCAR.

Racing devotees in Charlotte, NC, got their own royal wedding when two diehard fans tied the knot at the Charlotte Motor Speedway.

Linda Ward, a nurse, and Greg Waters, a truck driver, exchanged vows at the speedway’s campground, where they met.

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The “mullet bandit” can’t seem to part with his trademark hairstyle.

The FBI says a bank robber with two distinctive ‘dos has hit three Ohio banks in a month.

Authorities thought the mullet-loving thief might have cut his hair to evade identification in the latest robbery but now believe he simply tucked his precious tail of long hair under a baseball cap.

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Queen Elizabeth’s security staffers were not amused when an overzealous British parking-enforcement officer clamped boots on two of their cars — with the guards seated in the vehicles.

Staffer Gareth Andrews, 37, is due in court this week on charges he obstructed a police officer in the execution of his duty.

The cars were parked in Portsmouth, England, while the queen was dining aboard a friend’s yacht.

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This Goldilocks has some chutzpah.

Nineteen-year-old Jesse Dobinson is charged with breaking into one home in Wickford, England, three times — eating the owner’s food, taking a nap and stealing electronics.