There was no goodwill for grandma.

Workers at a Fenton, Mich., Goodwill thrift store sifting through donated items found a box labeled “grandma’s ashes” with a marble urn inside.

Store manager Allen Ryckman said staffers were “a little creeped out.”

***

This upstate weirdo likes a woman who keeps her mouth shut.

Ned Nefer, 38, is hiking from Syracuse to Watertown with “wife” Teagan — a 6-foot mannequin.

The “couple” visited the Children’s Home of Jefferson County, where Nefer told the Watertown Daily Times they first met.

***

There was a hole in their plan.

Thugs stuck up a Dunkin’ Donuts in Massachusetts and made off with a bag of dough.

Literally.

What they thought was a cash-filled sack contained only doughnuts.

The munchkin-brained marauders thought they were getting the store’s daily bank deposit.

Three armed men were soon arrested.

***

In God we bus — or not.

An atheist group buying ad space on the sides of buses is cross over $36,000 in “vandalism” insurance fees the Central Arkansas Transit Authority is demanding.

The Coalition of Reason said in a lawsuit the bus company fears the devilish reactions the anti-religion ads might inspire.

The $5,000 worth of ads read, “Are you good without God? Millions are.”

***

It’s not only ladies who don’t tell their age.

The mayor of Warren, Mich., won a court ruling allowing him to keep his age secret.

Mayor Jim Fouts can now run for re-election as an ageless candidate.

Fouts — who according to some records is 66 — didn’t want his wrinkles to be used as fodder in his re-election bid.