This protective kid is pretty good with a blade.

A 9-year-old Milwaukee grade-schooler sprang into action when she saw her mom’s ex-lover holding a knife to the woman’s throat.

The girl stabbed the fiend in the back, inflict-

ing non-life-threatening wounds, and he was arrested.

Two years ago the girl had stabbed the same guy in the leg as he was hurting her mom.

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Next time, dude, try a sports car.

Cops in Illinois arrested a 43-year-old man for illegally keeping a pet alligator.

Dewayne Yarbrough told animal-control officers he thought the 4-foot reptile would be a chick magnet — but it was more likely to eat his dates than impress them because he kept it underfed to stunt its growth.

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An elderly millionaire is in hot water after he allegedly made a pathetic move to join the mile-high club during a medical flight aboard his private jet.

Robert Lee, 83, allegedly groped the breast of a female paramedic during the flight from Arizona to the Mayo Clinic in Rochester, Minn.

When the shocked medic protested, he declared: “I can do whatever I want. This is my airplane.”

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At least he did get rid of the wart.

A security guard in England shot off his middle finger as he tried to remove a growth with his shotgun.

Sean Murphy apparently was a wee bit off target — or maybe we should say a bit too on target.

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Churchgoers in Sweden aren’t very religious.

According to a new poll, a stunning 85 percent of Church of Sweden members say they don’t believe in Jesus.

That might make Easter services a little awkward.