An environmentally correct bear stole a Prius and went on a joyride.

The bizarre crime took place in Pleasanton, Calif., when the animal broke into the vehicle, which was parked in Brian McCarthy’s driveway.

First he got stuck, then he got angry — ripping seats, biting the steering wheel and damaging the gear box, which put the car into neutral.

It rolled down the driveway, picked up speed and finally came to a stop against a neighbor’s porch.

The bear got out and escaped into the woods — where it undoubtedly spent some time hugging trees.

***

What a pair.

A 19-year-old Canadian woman drove to the police station in Saanich, British Columbia, to pick up her 18-year-old boyfriend, who’d been caught driving drunk.

The trouble was, she, too, had had a few too many and also was busted.

“The moral is don’t drive to the police station if you’ve been drinking,’’ said Sgt. Dean Jantzen.

***

Why was this day different from every other day?

A synagogue in Philadelphia was evacuated when someone spotted a suspicious package resting against the front door.

Cops later said it contained only a Seder plate, which Jews use on Passover.

The rabbi said he believes the plate was meant as a donation to the congregation.

***

Smoking marijuana may give you the munchies, but you’re unlikely to develop a pot belly.

A surprising French study shows that people who smoke grass are less likely to pack on the pounds than those who abstain.

***

Their favorite kind of moo-sic is jazz.

A US jazz band performed for a herd of cows in the French town of Autrans.

A witness claims that when one musician started playing “When the Saints Go Marching In,’’ the cows walked right up to him.