Speak now or forever hold your peace — if you object to this streaker’s running down the aisle!

Massachusetts cops used a Taser to take down a naked man disrupting preparations for a wedding at the summit of Mount Sugarloaf.

Deerfield police said the man was suffering from a medical issue, leading to the naked, mountain-top scuffle.

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Red-faced officials at a Florida school are scrambling after unwittingly passing out bracelets adorned with a photo of a naked lady.

Kids at Jay Elementary School got the bracelets — with the pics beneath cloth coverings — as a reward for working in a school fund-raiser.

Only a few students have given back their naughty novelties, manufactured in China.

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Spider-Man is wreaking havoc from Broadway to rural North Carolina.

A would-be robber dressed as Spidey was beaten up by two feisty convenience-store employees, according to Onslow County deputies.

One clerk hit him in the stomach with a broom, while the other jumped in to rip off the robber’s mask and ponytail. The suspect was arrested at his home.

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Canadian cops are frantically trying to take take off the streets BB guns built to look like AK-47 assault weapons.

The Royal Canadian Mounted Police is conducting raids at gun stores across the country to recover a massive shipment of those BB guns from China.

Cop said the weapons can be easily converted into real AK-47s.

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Minnesota agriculture officials investigating salmonella poisonings have found their culprit — an organic- egg farm.

The victims fell ill between Aug. 12 and Sept. 24 from eggs traced back to the Larry Schultz Organic Farm of Owatonna.