Draper, Utah, is definitely not Cougar Town.

When officials at a new high school surveyed students on what they wanted to name their sports teams, they voted for the cougar.

The school board quickly put the kibosh on that idea, fearing that the hormone-surging teens’ thoughts might wander over to the modern tabloid “cougar” reference of older women scoring younger guys.

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St. Louis is now in the grips of a school-bus mystery.

Since the start of the school year, five full-sized yellow buses have gone missing without a trace. No one knows if they’ve been misplaced, stolen or beamed up by aliens.

“Why would you take a school bus, and where do you hide a school bus?” asked a local cop.

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Meanwhile, in Chicago, thieves are even more ambitious: They’ve stolen an entire building!

Brazen scrap-metal crooks took an abandoned steel structure after telling neighbors it had been scheduled for demolition.

When the owner was told his building was gone, he must have felt like he was hit by a ton of bricks.

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A Georgia mom was busted for letting her 10-year-old son get a tattoo in tribute to his 12-year-old brother who tragically died recently.

After her arrest, Chuntera Napier said, “What do I say to a child who wanted to remember his brother? It’s not like he was asking me, ‘Can I get SpongeBob?’ ”

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Cops in Germany were shocked when they caught the North Korean ambassador fishing illegally in a stream — and when told to pull his pole, he brazen declared diplomatic immunity and kept his line in the water.

After envoy Ri Si Hong arrogantly waved authorities away, one cop told reporters, “My colleagues are extremely frustrated.”