One broke Florida guy tried to use the police like a free taxi service.

Hector Felix Jr. allegedly told cops in Port St. Lucie that he had been carjacked, in hopes they would take pity on him and give him a ride home.

When lawmen learned his report was bogus, he did get one trip — right to jail.

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A preschool girl in North Carolina was busted — by the lunch police.

After a cafeteria monitor spotted the 4-year-old’s home-packed lunch, the meal was declared unhealthy and the child was forced to discard it.

While the child’s lunch was a turkey-and-cheese sandwich on whole wheat bread and an apple, the moronic monitor made her eat chicken nuggets instead.

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Now this was one kinky Valentine’s Day.

Lovers Stephanie Pelzner and Nikolas Harber caused a police scare in Portland, Ore., when they allegedly engaged in an amorous S&M role-playing game in which Pelzner was bound, gagged and carried off.

Cops launched a search, fearing Harbar had been kidnapped. When she was found in a parking lot, the duo admitted the mix-up — and were reportedly busted for disorderly conduct.

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Cops in San Diego were red-faced after they surrounded a car for two hours on an interstate highway with their guns drawn only to discover it was empty.

The officers had believed a robbery suspect was inside.

Even though news-chopper video showed the car empty, cops waited for hours — with the traffic on the highway at a standstill — until moving in.

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Maybe this is why Michael Jordan could handle the basketball so well.

Product counterfeiters were nabbed in Georgia for allegedly pushing bogus Nike Air Jordan shoes after officials noticed that the logo featuring the Chicago Bulls great had six fingers on one hand.