A 28-year-old inmate at a South Dakota prison has some cutting words for the hospital where he was circumcised as a newborn.

Dean Cochrun filed a federal lawsuit against the hospital, arguing that the procedure “robbed’’ him of his sexual prowess.

Cochrun, behind bars for kidnapping, is suing the hospital for $1,000 in damages. Oh, and he’d also like his foreskin restored.

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This parade of pooches could be a record-breaker.

Kansas City promoter Mark Valentine wants to set a world record for “most costumed dogs’’ by having at least 700 costumed canines — mostly Chihuahuas — march down a street on Cinco de Mayo.

Owners will pony up a $5 entry fee, with all proceeds benefiting a no-kill shelter.

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A Japanese man who is ape over monkeys and practices running like them has a Guinness World Record as the fastest man on all fours.

Kenichi Ito, 29, modeled his running style — on his hands and feet — on the patas monkey of Africa.

He says he has always liked monkeys, and “I had this ambition to adopt one of their traits. When I saw a monkey that could run fast, I knew I’d found it — and from that point on, I practiced running like a monkey every day.’’

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An Egyptian husband watching a porn film was stunned to recognize the woman in the steamy scenes — it was his wife.

When he confronted his bride of 16 years, the mom of four at first denied it. But then she declared that she had never loved him — and that the guy in the film was her old boyfriend before she got married.

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How about a slice of grasshopper pie?

“The Insect Cookbook,’’ a new collection of recipes written in Dutch and featuring assorted bugs and worms, is on store shelves in the Netherlands.

The idea is to promote insects as a source of protein.