If the hereafter has restaurants, this guy will get great service for eternity.

Aaron Collins’ will asked relatives to go out to dinner and “leave an awesome tip (and I don’t mean 25%). I mean $500 on a f–kin’ pizza for a waiter or waitress.’’

So members of the Lexington, Ky., man’s family dined at a pizzeria, then handed the shocked waitress $500.

***

A British woman is carrying a torch for a large, green American lady.

Amanda Whittaker, 27, claims she has a rare condition called “objectum sexuality,’’ which makes her fall in love with inanimate objects — and she had an orgasm when she visited Lady Liberty recently.

“Libby is the love of my life,’’ said the bizarre Brit. “And she feels the same for me.’’

***

We’ve heard of angry birds — but terrorists with feathers?

A trail of “suspicious powder’’ sparked a terror scare in Edmonds, Wash.

It seems crows ripped off a bag of white flour, and spilled some of it as they dragged it down a street.

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What a hot-head.

A jerk from Georgia asked his pals at an Augusta bar to set his head on fire by dousing it with 100-proof booze and holding a flame next to it. It caught on the third try.

He was hospitalized, and cops won’t charge him, because he’s “suffered enough.’’

***

Who would have guessed that Joe Stalin was such a nice guy, he provided snacks along Russia’s border?

A British magazine that covers higher education printed the funniest excerpts from student exams.

One scholar wrote that the Russian dictator “began to build a buffet zone in Eastern Europe.’’ Presumably, he meant “buffer.’’

And a student of the Middle Ages wrote, “Most books were written on valium.’’ He probably meant vellum, since Valium didn’t make its appearance for at least a few more centuries.