There’s finally a way to determine which candidate is more full of it.

A Texas firm is selling dog-poop bags emblazoned with the faces of President Obama and Mitt Romney.

The company, Therapoo, brags the bags are hitting the market “just in time to cast your vote — and your dog’s vote, too.’’

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This may be the Parent One of all nutty politically correct ideas.

The new Socialist government of France wants to replace the words “mother’’ and “father’’ with “Parent One’’ and “Parent Two’’ on birth certificates and other legal documents.

Hopefully, they won’t change the names of Mother’s Day and Father’s Day. Parent One Day and Parent Two Day just don’t have the same ring.

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The only way they’ll convict this woman is by finding a panel of jurors who never lost money to an infuriating vending machine.

Debra Johnson, of New Bern, NC, admitted to cops that she got so furious at a machine that took her money but didn’t disgorge a soda that she set it on fire.

“I’ll represent myself, ’cause I’m guilty,’’ the unrepentant 43-year-old told a judge at her preliminary hearing. “I don’t need a lawyer to lie for me.’’

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Talk about getting stuck in traffic!

A busy highway in Waimate, New Zealand, had to be closed for hours after a truck overturned and spilled 26.5 tons of molasses.

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We’ll drink to this!

A bartender at London’s Playboy Club has invented the world’s most expensive cocktail.

It costs a whopping $8,800 said its creator, Salvatore Calabrese.

He brags it’s also the oldest — made of a 1778 cognac, a 1770 liqueur, a Curaçao from 1869 and two dashes of bitters circa 1900.

The combined age of the ingredients, he says, is more than 700 years, calling it “liquid history in a glass.’’