Where’s the beef?

A restaurant in a suburban Houston mall’s food court is reserved for one thing, and one thing only: fries.

French Fry Heaven in The Woodlands Mall has more than 50 flavors and seasonings for their fries, with varieties that include loaded baked potato, cheeseburger, barbecue and something called Festival, which imitates the taste of a funnel cake.

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She was late for a very important date!

Two paramedics in Georgia got to play police officer last week when they spotted a woman speeding along with two flat tires.

The medics were able to get the driver, Myrtice Mainer, 52, of Ellenwood, Ga., to pull over.

When police responded, Mainer told them she was heading to an area hotel “to meet Jesus.” She was charged with DUI.

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For those now looking to add gunfights to their living rooms, we bring you — the Couchbunker!

A normal-looking sofa on the outside, the Couchbunker, made by the Heracles Research Corp., of Spokane, Wash., features a gun safe under the cushions.

The Couchbunker can hide up to 40 rifles and ammunition and includes bulletproof cushions, if desired.

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A Wisconsin man whose name attracted national attention a couple of years ago has another notch on his résumé: suspect.

Beezow Doo-doo Zopittybop-bop-bop, 32, has been in jail in Washington County, Iowa, for nearly a month as he awaits drug-possession charges.

His moniker became a coast-to-coast joke in December 2011.

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Maybe the bat just took a smoking break?

Authorities found a bat with a cigarette in its mouth in a suburban Denver park.

Whoever handled the creature found in Harriman Park may have exposed themselves to rabies, county health officials said.