Watch your hands.

Marquette Fisher, 42, had been popped for allegedly driving without a license in Chicago and was handcuffed — hands in front — when he was placed in back of a police cruiser, which had the keys in the ignition.

As cops turned their backs for a moment, Fisher allegedly jumped into the front seat and took off. He was caught hours later.

***

A Texas woman got “stuck” inside an Arlington acupuncture clinic.

The unidentified patient had needles stuck in her back when she noticed her doctor, Jeff Tsing, and the other employee at the Hwa Tow Acupuncture and Chinese Herbs Clinic had locked up and taken off.

The woman, locked inside, called 911. Tsing said he can’t understand how he forgot about his patient.

***

A man drove his motor home into a bar in — of all places — the town of Boring, Ore.

No one was injured in the Timber Pub & Grub tavern, cops said. The driver was not hurt in the crash but had several “self-inflicted wounds on his arms,” Boring police said.

***

A statue of the Dr. Seuss character the Lorax has been found more than a year after it was stolen from the late author’s La Jolla, Calif., home, officials said.

A tipster called San Diego police and directed them to a canyon where the 300-pound, 2-foot-tall bronze statue, worth about $10,000, was recovered.

***

A Texas Tech student was allowed to wear a pasta strainer on his head for an official state ID.

Eddie Castillo convinced the Department of Public Safety he should be allowed to don the kitchenware, based on his religious freedom to worship the “Flying Spaghetti Monster.”

Members of the tongue-in-cheek “Pastafarian” church pray to the Flying Spaghetti Monster to advocate for greater separation of church and state.