What kind of goofball advice are you giving these college kids, saying it’s OK to work in a marina on Martha’s Vineyard instead of using his mind to advance himself down the road? Kids need to buckle down in college, not look at it as extended high school. Or maybe you are correct and the young lad can live in his parents’ basement until he’s 30.

Oh, now it’s on, grandpa! There’s a whole crew of salty seamen and women who will make you walk the plank for dissing the work they do. Everyone needs to chill out. You are making these kids grow up faster than they need to. The stress I see on college students and recent grads to have it figured out and jump right into a career is unhealthy. How do I know? Because I see thousands of them, and then I see them 10, 15, 20 years into their careers, with so many of them miserable, having midlife crises and on analysts’ couches. We need to take the pressure off and tell kids that if they don’t get into the best school, or get the best internships, or push nonstop, that their lives won’t be ruined. I give the same “goofball” advice to my kids. If any college kid wants to spend a summer on the Vineyard tying bowline knots instead of half Windsor knots, go for it.

I am networking and having coffee with people I am asking for advice, but I feel awkward when the check comes. Should I pay because I am asking for their help? If the person is more senior than I am, should I let them pay? What’s the protocol?

I’ve got a really simple, effective tip. Arrive at the meeting place early and give your credit card to the server. Tell them not to bring the check, to just charge you and bring the check and the receipt for you to sign at the end of the meeting. Easy as a cappuccino on a Sunday morning. It’s also why coffee meetings are a safe, no-stress venue — there isn’t a big expense involved so you can be a big shot and pick up the tab all over town. There might be an exception: A former boss higher up than you will let you get away with this trick the first time but may insist on picking up the tab in the future. Feel free to let them dictate the protocol.