Essena O’Neill, 18, grew
to half a million followers, one picture-perfect snap at a time — but now, she doesn’t want any of it.
Makeup-free and on the verge of tears, the Australian beauty announced in a YouTube video this week that she’s giving up social media, citing its disastrous effects.
“Having it all on social media means nothing to your real life,” she says. “Everything I did was for views, for likes, for followers.”
Through her Instagram and YouTube fame, O’Neill says she scored sponsorships, a contract with modeling agency IMG — which top models Gigi Hadid and Joan Smalls call home — and what seemed like an enviable life. Since the age of 16, she’s used her Instagram to show off her svelte, tanned body in tight workout clothes and cleavage-baring dresses, offering “fitspiration” and style inspiration to a growing flock of followers.
But it wasn’t enough.
“I had it all but I was miserable,” she says. “Because when you let yourself be defined by numbers, you let yourself be defined by something that is not pure. That is not real. And that is not love.”
In addition to starting a blog aimed at breaking the social-media habit of our society — and ditching her own modeling dreams — she’s gone back and rewritten the captions on some of her biggest Insta snaps to show the reality behind them: insecurity and a lack of self-worth.
“I let myself be defined by numbers. And the only thing that made me feel better about myself . . . was the more followers, the more likes, the more praise and the more views I got online. It was never enough.”
Her chic, sexy photos used to require hundreds of takes, feeding her need for validation as the likes rolled in.
Now, she hopes younger girls can see the truth behind these images and avoid a similar unhappy fate.
“I spent [ages] 12 to 16 wishing I was this perfect person online. Then I spent 16 to 18 proving my life on social media, perfecting myself enough to be that person. Everything I did in a day was to be that perfect person online . . . but is making your whole day proving to everyone else you’re amazing — is that life? It’s not life and it’s not what’s making you happy.”
