“American Canto?”

More like, can’t stomach it, critics say of Olivia Nuzzi’s debut book detailing — kind of — her sordid affair with Health Secretary Robert F. Kennedy Jr.

Reviewers for prestige publications from New York City to Washington, DC, have slammed the former New York magazine journalist’s “aggressively awful” tome.

Many criticized the book for not spilling enough gossip on her bizarre affair with Kennedy, while several others blasted her failed attempt to emulate late powerhouse essayist Joan Didion.

There was endless chatter building up to the memoir’s release, including gossipy posts from Nuzzi’s ex-fiance, political writer Ryan Lizza, accusing her of having an affair with former South Carolina Gov. Mark Sanford and planning to “consummate” her relationship with RFK Jr.

Despite this momentum, the book “drops with a soft, disappointing thud,” Alexandra Jacobs wrote for the New York Times.

The newspaper’s headline described Nuzzi’s memoir as “self-serious and altogether disappointing.”

A number of critics said Nuzzi – who now serves as Vanity Fair’s West Coast editor, pending a review of the Kennedy affair – was trying hard to emulate Didion’ descriptions of California life.

But Nuzzi’s book is “chapterless and scattershot” – “an attempted letter from Trump’s America in the style of a would-be Joan Didion (on Adderall rather than Elavil),” Jacobs wrote.

The “303-page bafflement” is “wafting and unfocused in a manner that makes you long for the sweet relief of a detailed policy paper,” she added.

While “Nuzzi is an astral force,” “this moon’s a lead balloon,” Jacobs wrote.

The Washington Post’s reviewer was similarly unforgiving, writing that Nuzzi “tries and fails to save her reputation.”

Her memoir is “what most debut books are: highly uneven and largely forgettable. To be sure, vast swaths of it are impressively and aggressively awful,” Becca Rothfeld wrote.

“It reads like a Joan Didion pastiche – but it is worried and overworked in a way that Didion, a master of taut precision, would never have countenanced,” she added.

“When Nuzzi is trying to sound literary, as she often is, her syntax is tortured and halting,” Rothfeld continued.

And for anyone unfamiliar with the details of her headline-making affair, those parts would seem “unintelligible,” she said.

The Atlantic’s Helen Lewis noted that the book “is Nuzzi’s attempt to elevate a grubby affair to the status of the mythic, to transmute the base metal of Page Six sexting stories into the gold of literary reflections on the political moment.” 

“But all the surf and smoke and Didionesque stylings in the world cannot disguise the central problem with ‘American Canto:’ It is not honest.”

Molly Fischer wrote in the New Yorker that readers looking for dirt on Nuzzi’s affair with Kennedy “will be disappointed.”

The book itself “refuses chronology and coherence, which makes it a challenge to extract answers to any of the many questions a reader loosely aware of her story might have,” she continued.

“Her observations of the country veer from banal … to ridiculous,” Fischer wrote. 

“With breathtaking grandiosity, she enlists last winter’s Los Angeles wildfires as symbolism for her professional self-destruction.”

And while Nuzzi “has attempted to replicate the Didion image,” she has replaced “cool observation with overheated melodrama.”