Well, the results have come back on Stitches’ DNA tests. As you can imagine, the family-tree findings were more than interesting. Seems we are only 1/1024 Pocahontas. There is a 50/50 chance we are a distant cousin of Bartolo Colon. Ancestry also revealed there is a 99.9% chance Stitches is most certainly a descendant of a gambler who picked heavily favored Messala to defeat Ben-Hur in a chariot race. … Manny Machado on his test results: “I’m not the type that’s going to be Johnny Hustle, run down the line, slide into first. That’s not my personality, not who I am.”

The ALCS gave us fits in Games 1 and 2. Heading to Houston for Game 4. Rick Porcello goes for Boston. He was one of many heroes responsible for taking down the rival Yanks in the ALDS and threw a perfect inning of relief at the Astros at Fenway. Houston counters with Charlie Morton, who was not needed in the divisional series with the Indians but was an important piece in last year’s championship run. Play 20 units on the Astros.

Dodgers scored the first run. About five hours later they scored again to win the all-nighter 2-1. Cody Bellinger ending it with a hit in the 13th inning. Exhausting win has us at -725 valenzuelas.