Your cheatin’ heart will tell on you. … Mark “Muscles” McGwire said last week he “absolutely” could have hit 70 homers with or without PED’s. “I know myself. … I was born a home run hitter. … I mean I took PED’s and I regret it. … I didn’t need to … that’s the thing.” Stitches is skeptical, but others have found the courage to come forward. Rosie Ruiz said she didn’t have to hop on the train to win the Boston Marathon, Lance Armstrong suggested he would have worn the yellow jacket either way, but Sammy Sosa said he still “don’t speak English.” Atta boy, Sammy.

Yankees back in action tonight. So is CC Sabathia. He last pitched April 6, but left the game with hip soreness. More reliable Aaron Sanchez goes for the Jays, who begin the series three games ahead of the Bombers. Taking Toronto for 20 units.

Power outages inside and outside Hiram Bithorn Stadium in San Juan, Puerto Rico. Twins and Indians were knotted at 1-1 after exchanging homers in the 14th inning. Ryan LaMarre’s hit mercifully ending the 16 inning 5 hour marathon. Bacardi’s all around. We’re up +221 palmeiros.