Happy Easter to Lil Nas X, whose Satan Shoes (each containing at least one drop of blood) make the perfect holiday gift for that special someone who has everything … or … you might opt for Governor Cuomo’s runaway bestseller “American Crisis: Leadership Lessons from the COVID-19 Pandemic.” Whether you are a Cuomosexual or a Doubting Thomas, the book makes for a fun fact-fudging read. Buona Pasqua!

The Cubs picked up their first win after dropping their opener to the Pirates. Reliable Zach Davies, 17-11 over the past two years pitching for the Brewers and Padres, makes his Wrigley Field debut for Chicago. Mitch Keller, a career 2-6, issued 18 walks over 21 innings in his sophomore year. Play 20 units on the Cubbies.

Took two shots (neither Pfizer nor Moderna) hoping to pull down our first W. Nope. The Phils dropped Atlanta, 4-0, the Braves one-hit by Zack Wheeler. Then the Reds cut down the Cards, 9-6 courtesy of a six-run inning off Adam Wainwright. Quickly down -332 peeps.