Hondo whiffed in both plate appearances Wednesday night thanks to the Mets and Marlins, whose failures dropped him back into the red with 80 kanehls owed to assorted creditors.

Thursday: Mr. Aitch will try to grow his pile of disposable dead presidents with an investment on the Metamucils’ No. 3 starter — 10 units on Harvey.

Hondo can’t bring himself to back Tiger Woods at the Masters for two main reasons: a) His glutes might “deactivate” (as he claimed they did at Torrey Pines); and b) His yips might reactivate. … Kim Kardashian had better hope her glutes never deactivate, or else she’ll be scraping her butt with every step. … Mike Francesa accused The Post of “abject laziness” for its coverage of his attendance at the Yankees’ opener. However, that’s a misuse of the term. According to Hondo’s dictionary, the best example of “abject laziness” is when an egomaniacal radio host falls asleep on the job.