Hondo moved oh-so-close to the 4,000 mark Wednesday when the Pirates rallied heroically on his behalf in San Fran to inflate the earnings to 3,984 piniellas.

Thursday night: Mr. Aitch, after extreme vetting of the Pitching Form, has decided to let in Iwakuma, who showed in his last outing he is seriously interested in joining the Stable of Stalwarts. Twenty units on the Mariners.

Al “The Pantload” Roker was spotted watching beach volleyball in Rio on Tuesday night. That’s Al’s favorite Olympic event because when he feels he is about to soil himself, as he did that time at the White House, he can just drop ’em on the sand and turn it into Roker litter. … Curt Schilling reportedly is considering a run against Elizabeth Warren for her Senate seat in 2018. Rumor has it Schilling will try to steal the fake Indian demographic from Fauxcahontas by claiming he is a direct descendant of Bloody Sawkahontas. … U.S. swimmer Ryan Lochte’s story about talking tough with a gun pointed at his head during a robbery in Rio is being questioned by Brazilian authorities. Seems like Lochte would be the perfect opening night guest on Brian Williams new show. An exchange of stories about imaginary incidents fraught with phony danger would be fascinating.