It wasn’t quite a laugher but Smyly did the job for the Rays and Hondo Wednesday night, shutting down the Orioles to reduce the accounts payable to 1,600 swans.

Thursday night: If everything is relative, then Mr. Aitch feels he should back Niese — 10 units on the Metamucils to post a major victory over Minor.

USC defensive back Josh Shaw admitted to his coaches his story about injuring his ankles while jumping off a balcony to save his drowning nephew was a fabrication. Shaw now says it wasn’t his nephew he saved, it was his imaginary girlfriend, Lennay Kekua. … A federal judge ruled against Arrow Productions, owners of “Deep Throat,” in its suit against the Weinstein Co., makers of “Lovelace,” for stealing a scene from the original movie for its film. Most would find that story as hard to follow as it is to swallow.