News Flash: Pope enraged speaking from pulpit during Holy Week! … Whether you listen to FAN’s Mike Francesa, ESPN’s Michael Kay, both or neither (Stitches’ preferred policy), this latest war of words is quite comical. Both claimed victory in the latest ratings book. Me-first Francesa: “They didn’t win, they lost. If I lost I’d tell you. [Hear Chris Russo laughing?] I feel sad for them, I really do.” And Michael Kay: “People in the industry are laughing at you … we celebrated … we had cake.”

Sources tell Stitches the $1 million-a-show, team player Pontiff Mike did not buy a cake for his bottom-feeders but is expecting them to bake a celebratory sheet cake when he announces his next year-long retirement tour.

Two of the NL’s top teams have at it in Milwaukee. With Rich Hill on the mend the Dodgers give reliever Julio Urias another spot start. His other two did not go well. Zach Davies (2-0, 1.53) takes his turn for the Brewers. Zach one-hit LA last week. 10 units on the Brews.

Double dipped and got away with it. Cubs blanked Marlins 6-0. Cole Hamels went seven strong, his record now 3-0. Twins held up their end of the double clipping the Jays 4-1 on a miserable night in Minny. Wins have us at -137 sandbergs.