Last Sunday in August. With the dog days of summer dwindling, we learned this week that eating one weiner will take 35 minutes off your life, but if someone took a picture of your weiner when you were an infant and put it on an album cover, you may be able to add a little mustard to your bank account. Anthony Weiner, male model and ever the opportunist, is making himself available for album cover work. … And this just in: Joey Chestnut is still alive.

The Reds, trying to secure a wild-card spot, take their talents to Miami. Tyler Mahle (10-4, 3.69 ERA) rebounded after a rough outing with the Cubs to limit the Brew Crew to one run over 5 ²/₃. The Marlins’ Jesus Luzardo (4-7, 7.91 ERA) has surrendered 24 runs over his past 22 ¹/₃ innings. Play 20 units on Cincy.

Ballgame over. Winning streak over. Yankees lose. Theeeee Yankees lose! Frankie Montas threw seven shutout innings. A’s won 3-2. Down -1,180 joerudis.