Juuust a bit outside! Planet Earth got a brush-back pitch from a three-mile wide asteroid named Florence on Thursday. Flo missed us by 4.4 million miles, which experts say is relatively close compared to past potential world-enders. Worried, Stitches phoned NASA and they said odds are astronomically long we ever will be beaned by a space rock. In fact there’s a better chance of Mayor DeBlasio being appointed Grand Marshal at this years Christopher Columbus day parade.

Whew.

Could be a couple of close shaves in The Bronx this weekend. The Yankees are attempting to close the gap on the first-place Red Sox. Boston lefty Drew Pomeranz’s record is 8-0 since middle of June. Playing 20 units on the Bosox.

Took 4 ¹/₂ hours and a pack of rolaids, but the Rangers beat the Angels 10-9. Cole Hamels was just one of many pitchers who struggled. Texas got back to .500 and pushed us to 499 milkyways.