“The sitting president of the United States and his grown children and the first lady are personally, personally trying to ruin my life forever. Forever.” — Funny girl Kathy Griffin

Free speech and now plenty of free time for Kathy. “Dead head” comedy tour has been canceled and CNN has given her the night off on New Year’s Eve. Stitches sympathizes. … Career needs a face-lift. Do something outrageous. Have it backfire. Show up with a lawyer and blame the guy whose head is on a plate. Rationalize. Cry. Draw support from other level-headed comedians. … It’s going to be OK, Kathy. All things pass. Just make sure you have your birth certificate and proof of citizenship ready.

Didn’t hit the Powerball last night, so we’ll play two this afternoon. Heading back to Detroit, where we scored Friday. Justin Verlander surrendered one run over seven innings but took the loss in K.C. last week. A little help please! 10 units on the Tigers and 10 units on the Dodgers. Kenta Maeda throws at Milwaukee and owns an ERA of 1.46 in two starts with the Brews.

Stitches is being monitored by the Secret Service, as well. Reached a new season-high 2,442 coopers last night. Very suspicious. Mets won 4-2 as the bullpen provided 3 ²/₃ innings of relief. No runs scored. A rarity.