The legendary Hondo has retired, replaced by our new baseball handicapping column called Stitches. Enjoy. And good luck.

My kinda town, Chi-ca-go is. … Backed the Cubs and Chisox Thursday and both emerged victorious, pushing Stitches into the plus column by 81 jalapenos. Lackey and Shields picked up W’s off the extra day’s rest. Both were supported by big bats including Kyle Schwarber’s clout which cleared the fence at over 112 mph. I believe it’s called “exit velocity”. You’re not a fan are you?

Speaking of exit velocity the Phillies Vince Velasquez hightailed it out of Cincinnati early to prep for his start against Max Scherzer’s Nationals. If the P’s are going to beat Mighty Max this year, the home opener, backed by a capacity crowd, would be the perfect time. Taking Philadelphia for 20 units as well as the Pirates who hand the ball to Ivan Nova for their home opener.