Mature audiences only … Tony nominations are in and if you thought this daily box of baloney was childish, Broadway makes Stitches look like a financial advice column in the Wall Street Journal. Nominees for best musical include “Mean Girls”, “Frozen” and “SpongeBob SquarePants”. And the winner is: you, for not coughing up the $200 per fanny. … Of all the things Starbucks has been sued for lately nobody has taken it to task over its Blonde Roast. Must be for mature tastes only.

First pitch: 2:20 p.m. Time of death: 2:25 p.m. Yu Darvish being Yu Darvish. Tagged for a homer five minutes in. Rockies took Yu deep two more times before he left after 4 ¹/₃ innings. Call the maintenance guy and tell him to take the day off. Cubs had their Wrigley clock cleaned 11-2. Loss puts us at -4 hammersteins.

Heading home and starting over again. Mets and Braves are running 1-2 in the NL East. Jason Vargas came off the DL last week and most likely wished he hadn’t. Padres, yes the Padres, pummeled him for nine runs over 3 ²/₃ innings in a memorable debut. Rust is off and he should rebound in front of the Flushing faithful. 20 units on the Mets.