Every week, The Post will bring you our picks of the best one-liners and stories from satirical site the Babylon Bee to take the edge off Hump Day. Want more of a chuckle? Be sure to click the links.

“Stealing a kid’s home run ball on his birthday, that’s pretty standard,” said Philly sports fan Mark Madison. READ MORE

According to eyewitnesses, Trump miraculously appeared in the House Chambers and called for the unbelieving Democrats to step forward and put their fingers to his ear. READ MORE

At publishing time, Ford announced that it had already received 10,000 preorders for the Pumpkin Spice F-150, all of which were placed by suburban white housewives. READ MORE

Furthermore, Democrats are calling on stabbing victims to stop dying, arguing that their deaths make soft on crime policies look soft on crime. READ MORE