Every week, The Post will bring you our picks of the best one-liners and stories from satirical site the Babylon Bee to take the edge off Hump Day. Want more of a chuckle? Be sure to click the links.

In a development which many see as an irrefutable sign of the impeding end times, biblical scholars and historians have reached a consensus that the Number of the Beast is actually 67. READ MORE

Economists urged customers not to sign up for Five Guys’ burger financing program, warning that the interest alone will amount to $10,000. READ MORE

“Pennies may no longer be in production, but we can’t just stop making loafers,” said shoe manufacturer Tom Shoemaker. “It’s OK. Due to inflation, increasing the worth of the coin being placed in the loafers makes sense, anyway.” READ MORE

The algorithm searched infinite points of data and scanned millions of stories of human suffering and determined definitively that Michelle Obama has been oppressed more than any other living human. READ MORE