Uh, excuse me, imperialist-Zionist running dogs — could we please have a glass of water?

Sounds like a parody of leftist whining, but amazingly, it isn’t. 

A protester at Columbia University, after her pro-terror cadre broke into and occupied the school’s Hamilton Hall on Tuesday, actually, literally said to the press: “Like, could people please have a glass of water?”

She added: “Do you want students to die of dehydration and starvation?”

The Red Army held out at Leningrad for years despite facing famine; if the Zoomer leftists of today miss one afternoon snacktime, they start seeing the Grim Reaper. 

The peckish pro-Palestinian had previouslypouted that the Hamilton occupiers were “asking for a commitment from Columbia for food and water to be brought in.”

In other words: Yes, we’ll break into and illegally seize campus buildings, but you’d better let the Uber Eats guy through. We’ve got a nonexistent genocide to impotently whine about, and that requires beaucoup calories. 

How about a new chant: Globalize the Intifada! Avocado and burrata!

That this hungry hungry Hamasnik is a weedy grad student whose studies reportedly aim at applying a “Marxian lens” to romantic literature completes the bleakly hilarious picture.  

Her demands are of a piece with the whining about amnesty over their illegal actions common among her fellow protesters.

A clear sign that these red-black-and-green diaper babies are in way over their heads, for all their tiers-mondiste tough talk. 

And it should give hope to the (very few) adults left in the room that this ugliness can be defeated just by showing a bit of spine, as happened Tuesday at UNC when the interim chancellor himself hauled down the Palestinian flag hoisted by pro-Hamas thugs and hauled Old Glory back up a school flagpoleas students broke into our national anthem. 

As for Keffiyeh Karen, there’s a very good chance her buddies are getting exactly what they wanted.

There’s plenty of food and water down at the Tombs.