-T-HOSE European city slickers spent years accusing President Bush of being an outlaw cowboy – only to learn, to their dismay, that the real bad hombre in the black hat was rootin’, tootin’, shootin’ Vladimir Putin.

And Vlad the Kid’s been rampaging on the dude ranch.

Putin and his hole-in-the-Kremlin-wall gang have been rustling political cattle from the big spread down Ukraine way. They’ve been claim jumping in Georgia and robbing the digital Pony Express on its way to Estonia. They even moseyed over to London town and lynched a feller whose talk they didn’t cotton to.

Those European dude fellers finally decided they wouldn’t mind if Sheriff George settled things up with Putin and his boys. They even started roundin’ up a posse, or at least hinting they might.

Yesterday, Sheriff George had a showdown with Vlad the Kid and tried to convince him it was time for the Wild East to act civilized. Vlad said he might consider going straight – if Sheriff George would just unlock the bank vault for him.

After their one-on-one, the two presidents acted as though more had been agreed than actually had been. Staring over George Bush’s shoulder at the European posse forming up, Vladimir Putin said he might not oppose a NATO anti-missile defensive shield – if the system used a Soviet-era radar site in Azerbaijan, instead of building a new installation in the Czech Republic.

Of course, Bush realizes that Putin’s offer is an attempt to destroy any utility such an anti-missile system might have. In a crisis, Moscow could dictate terms to Baku, shut the radar site down – or even invade Azerbaijan without drawing more than a whimper from the West. But Vlad knows he can’t drop paratroopers in the Czech Republic these days.

The Kremlin’s ambitious long-term program includes re-establishing as much of the old Soviet Empire as possible. Poland may no longer be up for grabs, but Russia fully expects to rule in Azerbaijan again and to control its Caspian Sea natural-gas deposits. A state-of-the-art, U.S.-funded upgrade of the decaying Russian radar post would be a gift to Russia, with no benefit to us or to NATO at all. (And, of course, the technology would be compromised from Day One.)

Bush told Putin he’d consider the idea. Better than a shoot-out at the Stolichnaya Corral. But if our president has any sense, he’ll get our brand on as many cattle as he can while negotiating over strategic grazing rights with born rustlers.

What’s been stunning about Putin’s tantrums, belligerence and willingness to murder critics in cold blood is the stupidity of his actions. European public opinion and government cooperation were his for the asking. Everybody wanted to hate the American sheriff instead. But Vlad threw it all away.

Cutting off fuel supplies to one Eastern European state after another in the dead of winter doesn’t encourage trust. A government-backed cyber-assault on Estonia, a NATO member, didn’t calm European nerves. And the literally radioactive murder of a dissident in Britain, followed by the Kremlin’s refusal to extradite the alleged killer, was so blatant an atrocity that even London’s mayor, “Red Ken” Livingstone – a man with Marx in his DNA – wouldn’t make excuses for the Russians.

Then Putin threatened to “re-target” Russia’s nuclear warheads at Western Europe. (As if they’ve been aimed at Thailand all this time.)

But Moscow’s delusions of grandeur know no bounds. And Russian paranoia worsens everything. If you give him a choice between (A), which is clearly 100 percent to his benefit, and (B), which obviously will cost him dearly and make him suffer, a Russian will always choose (B) – because he can’t believe that (A) isn’t a trap.

And Putin’s as Russian as any Russian gets.

As for our president, perhaps his greatest flaw as chief executive has been that he’s a terrible judge of character. He’ll never be allowed to forget his claim to have looked into Putin’s soul on the day he mistook Mephistopheles for Mother Teresa.

At least our president no longer believes that Putin’s his pal. And for all of Bush’s reputation for shooting from the hip, his reaction to the Kremlin’s excesses has been intelligent and measured. Even as he protects our interests, he’s been giving Putin just enough rope to hang himself.

The sheriff and the outlaw are scheduled to meet next month at the Bush clan’s ranch house up in Kennebunkport. (You can bet that Miz Laura’s going to count the family silver this time around.)

Meanwhile, Russia’s a one-trick country, living off its natural resources, failing to diversify its economy and threatening the world at a time when its military can’t even keep order in the barracks. Most Russians still live miserably – especially those far from the nation’s Potemkin-village cities. AIDS and tuberculosis are rampant, and the population’s declining at the rate of a million Russians each year. Corruption isn’t a crime – it’s a career.

But Vladimir Putin really thinks he can reclaim the splendor of the czars and the Soviet Union’s power to rule its neighbors.

There’s a heap more trouble a-comin’, pardners.

Ralph Peters’ new book, “Wars of Blood and Faith,” is due out July 25.