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The Iceman keeps his cool

More on — now voiceless — Val Kilmer whom I’ve long known, entertained, loved and whose current Amazon documentary is heart-stopping.

Val has seen a four-decade career. Cold War agent in “Top Secret.” Science prodigy in “Real Genius.” Fighter pilot in “Top Gun.” Knight in “Willow.” Bank robber in “Heat.” Master of disguise in “The Saint.” Wise-cracking detective in “Kiss Kiss Bang Bang.” “Batman.” And on and on.

Youngest in Juilliard’s drama school, one-man show playing his hero Mark Twain, romances with Cher, Cindy Crawford, Daryl Hannah, former wife Joanne Whalley. Once delirious and tended to by a tribe in a scarcely inhabited Indian Ocean island, little is disclosed until now about his throat cancer.

His children, Jack and Mercedes, shepherded the documentary to Cannes. He maintains his art gallery. Lives in California. He paints, writes, FaceTimes day and night. Stays faithful to longtime friends. In olden days he’d houseguest. Come for a day, stay two weeks. Life was his ranch in the Wild West, and Val’s thank-you gifts were handmade Native American blankets.

City scenes

Francis Ford Coppola’s investing his own $100 mil into long-gestating film project “Megalopolis.” James Caan, who became a superstar in his “The Godfather,” stars with maybe Cate Blanchett, Zendaya, Michelle Pfeiffer, Jessica Lange, Forest Whitaker. More I cannot tell you. More I do not know.

Seen & heard

“King of Staten Island” Pete Davidson hit Starbucks in Williamsburg. While shaking sugar packets, he posed for a photo with a UPS worker . . . California’s George Ruan, a new money techie, owns a $60 million West Coast hovel and a 15 Hudson Yards top floor. Whoeverthehell he is he hosts parties with some who pay cash to show up. Hope is they’ll post something on their social media things. In this city to run hot you have to play cool. 

Emmy luck from Lucci?

Award season’s coming. So “All My Children’s” famous soap star Susan Lucci, why 19 years to win her first Emmy? “This 19th time was in Madison Square Garden. Me front row. Alongside, Rosie O’Donnell, who said if I win and go to the mike she’d hold my bag. I thought, ‘Impossible.’ I was numb. I hadn’t won 18 times.”

Is the election political? “Suggested to me is it’s political but I don’t know. I never want to go there. Whatever reason’s never been explained to me. Was it because my character was glamorous? Had humor? Was No. 1 and groundbreaking? I have no answer. Firemen in a truck gave me thumbs up. Restaurant waiters offered congratulations. I got keys to the city. Diners sent over Champagne. In my mind and my heart, I never want to think it’s political — but I don’t know.” 

Much tweeting

Rules for tomorrow’s two-hour event at Central Park Zoo, NYC Audubon’s Fall Roost. It’s easier to crash Guantanamo: “Arrive timely.” Penguin house only open 5:30-6:30. Sea lions get fed 6:30. “If not planning to attend, please e-mail BEFORE . . . Photo or hardcopy of CDC vaccination proof required. If administered outside USA: AstraZeneca/SK Bioscience, Serum Institute of India/Covishield and Vaxzevria, Sinopharm or Sinovac, other legal forms required. Masks required. Children under 12 must wear face mask except when eating and drinking.” And there will be “a subsequent reminder message.” Let nobody say too many rulings are for the birds.

With crime escalating, conversation now runs to the new penal system, which favors freeing bad guys. Like this judge who told a senior prisoner: “You’re sentenced to 30 years.” Prisoner: “I won’t last long enough to serve that sentence.” Judge: “So do the best you can.”

Only in New York, kids, only in New York.

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