‘DO Not Eat the LCD Panel,” proclaims the manufac turer’s warning label on a small liquid-crystal dis play. “Always use this product with adult supervi sion,” reads a label under a cereal bowl.
A warning label on a popular scooter reads, “This product moves when used.” An electric drill for carpenters advises, “This product not intended for use as a dental drill.” A baby stroller warns, “Remove child before folding.”
Or consider this one: “For animal use only.” It’s from a bag of livestock castration rings.
Why are Americans barraged by so many meaningless and downright silly warnings? The fear of frivolous lawsuits forces companies to dream up every conceivable misuse of their products and warn against it. Some are hard to imagine.
But companies know that behind every silly warning label is an outrageous lawsuit.
In one case in New Jersey, a college student sued a bunk-bed manufacturer after he fell out of bed. The student, who had been asleep at noon, was startled when his roommate yelled at him to turn off his pager. The next thing the plaintiff knew, he was “on the floor” with a dislocated shoulder.
According to the plaintiff, it had never occurred to him that he could fall out of a bunk bed. He testified that had the manufacturer of the bed provided a warning, he would have been aware of the hazard . . . of gravity.
A jury awarded the plaintiff almost $180,000 due to the manufacturer’s failure to warn about what would seem a most obvious danger. Although the verdict was later overturned, the manufacturer still had to spend precious dollars and time on dealing with the complaint.
In a Michigan case, two men set an arson fire in their store with the hope of collecting insurance money. They admitted that they intended to simply have a small fire that would damage only their inventory. When the fire spilled over into the adjoining store, the men sued the insurance company.
Now that took chutzpah. They claimed they should receive coverage for the damage to the other building. A trial court dismissed the ridiculous case, only to have a panel of the Michigan Court of Appeals reverse the decision. Although the Michigan Supreme Court eventually overruled the appellate court, the defendants were still forced to mount a defense.
Should insurance policies come with a “Don’t Set Yourself on Fire” warning label?
That might be funny, but the steep cost associated with such problems isn’t. The Pacific Research Institute estimates that American business suffers $367 billion each year in lost product sales because spending on litigation curtails investment in research and development.
A new law, the Consumer Product Safety Improvement Act, now requires every company that sells or distributes any children’s product — be it a book, a toy or clothing — to test every single accessible element in the product for lead. It enforces this act with draconian fines and prison terms.
Until we reform our laws, the warning labels will only get sillier, like the one announced last week as the first-prize winner of the Foundation for Fair Civil Justice’s 12th annual “Wacky Warning Label” contest. It reads: “Not for use on moving vehicles.”
It’s stuck to portable toilet seats for outdoorsmen that attach to trailer hitches.
Bob Dorigo Jones, author of the best-selling “Remove Child Before Folding: The 101 Stupidest, Silliest and Wackiest Warning Labels Ever,” created and manages the warning-label contest with the Foundation for Fair Civil Justice.
