As the Yankees prepare for tonight’s one-game wild-card face-off against the Boston Red Sox, here’s a reminder from the home of the Bronx Bombers as to why the Big Apple will always come out on top of Beantown – win or lose.
Ace Gerrit Cole (16-8) will be on the mound tonight against Nathan Eovaldi (11-9), who will try to keep slugger Aaron Judge in Fenway Park — where the teams with identical 92-70 regular-season records will square off for the fifth time in the playoffs. Each club has won two previous series, with New York leading the all-time postseason matchup 12-11, although Boston has won seven of the last eight.
But whichever team wins Tuesday to advance to take on Tampa Bay in the AL Division Series, Boston — not even good enough to be nicknamed “The Second City” will surely never be New York — and here are just a few reasons why:
- Incapable of making a good pizza.
- Use the word “wicked” to describe everything other than witches.
- The accent.
- The people with the accent.
- Bill de Blasio roots for you.
- Drivers there get into accidents once, on average, every 4.4 years. That’s according to an insurance study that also found that Boston has the second-highest accident rate of all large US cities.
Matt Barnes #32 of the Boston Red Sox reacts after allowing the game tying run during the eighth inning of a game against the Baltimore Orioles on September 29, 2019. Billie Weiss/Boston Red Sox/Getty Images- Mark f–king Wahlberg
- John f–king Kerry
- Tom f–king Brady
- Pasquale “Patsy” Parisi from “The Sopranos,” talking about Boston: “That place is Scranton, with clams.”
- Gotham. Big Apple. City That Never Sleeps. Them: Beantown.
- Having a “Happy Hour” in a bar or restaurant is illegal.
John Kerry attends Global Table at Melbourne Showgrounds on September 3, 2019. Daniel Pockett/Getty Images- People are too embarrassed to say, “I went to Harvard.” They say, “I went to school in Boston.”
- As if going to school in Boston is somehow better.
- After losing to Islanders, coach of the Bruins was fined $25,000 for whining.
- Two seasons: Winter and road construction.
- Once spent $22 billion to dig a hole in the ground.
- Dunkin’ Donuts is considered fine dinin’.
Then-New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady reacts after defeating the Jacksonville Jaguars, January 21, 2018. EPA/CJ GUNTHER- Jenny from the Block could do so much better.
- Dueling is still legal — so long as it’s a Sunday and the governor is present.
- 684,379 residents — equal to the number of crime, mob and heist movies set in the city.
- Deflategate. Spygate.
- There’s a whole series of beer commercials about how obnoxious Bostonians are.
- Worst Batman
- Of 2,302 meetings between the two teams: Yankees 1,232 – Boston 1,033.
There’s a whole series of beer commercials about how obnoxious Bostonians are. Hakim Gibson- Rap from New York: Jay-Z, Nas, Wu-Tang. Boston: Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch.
- Boston sex symbol: They wear the new flannel.
- Did you see that Brady hug with Belichick? Hahahahahaha!
- Faneuil Hall, the world’s first and most overrated food court.
- The city that always sleeps. Most restaurants in Boston close at 10 p.m.
Ben Affleck and Matt Damon attend the 2018 World Series Boston Red Sox vs. Los Angeles Dodgers game on October 28, 2018. Jerritt Clark/Getty Images- There are no superheroes from Boston.
- They’re jerks: Massachusetts is 47th most friendly state, according to a survey by Big 7 Travel.
- Chumps — New York ranks 50th. If you’re going to be rude, go big.
- They would all move here if they could.
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