‘ASK yourself who is the largest advertising customer for the Pistons,” underlines a vigilant column monitor, “and spends more money with them than anyone other than their broadcast partners – and you have your answer why the Cavaliers have such leeway” regarding the romancing of Larry Brown.

That customer is Quicken Loans, a home loan firm owned by Dan Gilbert, a Pistons season-ticket holder and Michigan native.

“It’s a huge deal for the Pistons,” resumes the sophisticate. “They get rid of Larry and their [remaining three year, $21 million] contractual obligation to him. If he retired sick, especially if they win this year, the Pistons would feel obliged to pay him.

“So they push Larry’s salary to Cleveland and keep their biggest customer happy.

“That’s good business. Who cares what Larry says or does?”

Meanwhile, Brown’s doctors are confiding to hospital technicians that Larry may no longer be up to coaching, but he’s more than capable of those day-to-day rigors of changing jobs.

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USA Basketball chieftain Jerry Colangelo, by the way, named Next Town Brown and other former basketball Olympians to help choose the next USA men’s team; its coach, too, I suppose. Already there’s a potential conflict of interest; sources say Larry has spoken to Argentina, Bolivia and the Banana Republic about a similar position; denials at eleven.

This just in: Michael Jordan refuses to serve on the committee unless Isiah Thomas is a participant.

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Last week I wrote Nate McMillan wants to retain his 19-year relationship with the surging Sonics and continue to supervise their development. Nevertheless, it has come to my attention the rising free agent (June 30) remains undecided whether to re-enlist for another tour.

A source on McMillan’s side of the bargaining table insists this is not a money issue, it’s about how good the Sonics will be next season when they regroup. How many of their eight free agents will return, in other words? Clearly, management is unable to guarantee a certain number.

Consequently, McMillan is seriously thinking about entertaining offers from the Pistons (a marriage made at midcourt), the Blazers and the Lakers should Phil Jackson get that unloving feeling from Kobe Bryant.

The Knicks, I’m informed, failed to so much as make the back end of McMillan’s wish list.

Contrary to countless counterfeit reports by the Daily Nuisance re the Blazers and Pistons, Flip Saunders never met with Portland owner Paul Allen, never was offered the job, never turned it down, never was contacted by Detroit president Joe Dumars (the same is true re the reps for both sides) and is not the leading candidate to replace Brown.

Columnist Mitch Lawrence is, however, correct about one thing; Saunders, indeed, is scouring the NBA for work as a head coach. Sources say Saunders has let it be known he’s very much interested in the Pistons’ imminent opening. In turn, they would have interest in him.

Chauncey Billups, who labored two years for the Timberwolves, has nothing but praise for his former instructor, and why not? He put the looming free agent in position to earn a mid-level max contract from Detroit, ahem, but not Minnesota.

Yet another exceptional personnel/financial evaluation by Kevin McHale, who didn’t think Billups was worth $38M or so over six seasons, but Troy Hudson was two years later.

It’s becoming increasingly clear Spurs assistant P.J. Carlesimo has beaten out Paul Silas for the T’wolves’ hotel suite on the road. Otherwise, why hasn’t Silas or someone else been hired? Officially Carlesimo supposedly hasn’t been told. Unofficially it’s understood he’s back in business and will bring along Johnny Davis and Paul Westhead as his assistants.

The Blazers are waiting patiently for McMillan and Jackson to make up their minds about Seattle and L.A. If there’s no chance of pulling either one Sonics assistant Dwane Casey appears to be the contingency plan; Grizzly assistant Lionel Hollins also figures to be somewhere in the mix. Suns assistant Marc Iavaroni has not been interviewed; that’s a mistake that needs to be corrected. Tim Grgurich will switch from Portland to Cleveland under Mike Brown who’s expected to reunite with Hank Egan, his San Diego State coach; they also were together on the Spurs bench a while back.

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It’s wonderful Shaquille O’Neal is paying for George Mikan’s funeral. Still, his uplifting deed lost some of its luster when he publicized the offer after Game 5 of the Eastern Conference finals on TNT. It’s not like Mikan’s enormous medical bills and the severe monetary strain it had placed on his family over the last few years was a secret. How great would Shaq have looked had we discovered 33 years from now he had quietly relieved the Mikans of that burden?

There are grandstand plays and then there are unsurpassed blowhards. The whole NBA world knows those who played prior to 1965 can cash their monthly pension checks at a fast food drive-thru. Forty years later their plight remains unchanged.

Now Mikan dies and Charlatan Barkley wants us to believe he cares, sermonizing in a reverential tone that something should be done. If he cared so much why didn’t he, Magic Johnson and Kenny Smith – his TNT colleagues – do something about it when they owned influential voices in the union?

Don’t be acting like the players of today aren’t doing enough for the league’s pioneers when you three heroes didn’t do anything worthwhile either. How do I know Barkley, Magic and Smith didn’t? Because if they had done anything worthwhile they wouldn’t have stopped bragging about it.