The miserable Metamucils prevented Hondo from achieving his financial goal yesterday, stumbling and bumbling in Philly to raise the NRN (nasty red number) to 1,450 frisches.

Tonight, Mr. Aitch will try to nail down a winner with Carpenter in Cincy — 10 units on the Cards to hammer Leake.

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The Milwaukee teachers union is fighting to have Viagra restored to its members’ health-care coverage. Shouldn’t the teachers instead be more concerned with getting test scores up? . . . Richard Blumenthal reportedly has a 10-point lead over Vince McMahon’s wife, Linda, in the Conn. race for the U.S. Senate. A closer look at the demographics shows that Lying Dick has a near unanimous lead among phony war vets, but McMahon is running away with the Wrestlers-On- ‘Roids vote.

hondo@nypost.com