Because there are 250 million Americans who could care less about watching Evander Holyfield dragging his 39-year-old bones in for a third time against the mediocre John Ruiz, that fight will take place Aug. 4 in China.

Meanwhile, only in Don King’s America could he use Independence Day Eve to hype a bout staged in a Communist dictatorship, embellishing that theme by terming a federal judge’s firm stand on contractual law as an example of British “tyranny.”

Unfortunately, Judge Miriam Goldman Cederbaum was not empowered to order a rematch between King and federal prosecutors. But at least she could read the fine print guaranteeing Lennox Lewis, of London, a rematch in the event of his April 22 knockout loss to Hasim Rahman of East Baltimore.

Fightin’ Miriam told King and Cedric Kushner, Lewis’ manager, to re-negotiate in good faith the paltry $3.1 million to which the contract shackled Rahman for the rematch. Now he can’t fight Brian Neilson on King’s Beijing card for $4 million, then earn King’s promised $10 million in a unification bout against the Ruiz-Holyfield winner.

Pity. King yesterday took his eight count serving hot dogs and hamburgers, waving the red, white and blue and celebrating his inalienable right to turn a kidney punch to the wallet into a brushing jab.

“Like we beat them at Lexington and Concord, we will take them out again,” said King, failing to rise fully to the occasion by offering an even $76 million, holding it to a mere $12.5.

“If they give us [back] $12.5 million, it’s a fair exchange. You can’t treat [Rahman] like he lost. He knocked him out.

“Now they are asking for an interim match, the very thing they told the judge we couldn’t have. I think [the interim] would be [Mike] Tyson. I wonder how [Cederbaum] is going to react to that chicanery.

“[Of] course, I’m scared to say anything about any federal judge other than they are great.”