Johnny Spillane — who so far has the gold-medal name of this Olympics — became the first American ever to win a medal in the Nordic combined event the other day, a sport hardly anyone outside of Vail, Colo., had ever heard of, but it renews a theory I have about the Olympics: We love combined events, like the decathlon in the Summer Games.

So I ask you: Who wouldn’t go for a Winter Decathlon? Couldn’t we at least get it as a demonstration sport in Russia in 2014? As I am alone in this quest for now, I shall dub myself commissioner and invent it right here and right now, with the following 10 events:

1) Short track speedskating (500 meters); 2) regular speedskating (1,500 meters; 3) luge; 4) downhill skiing; 5) ski jumping; 6) snowboardcross; 7) skeleton; 8) figure skating (90 second program); 9) halfpipe; 10) moguls.

I’d watch that. Don’t even pretend you wouldn’t.