I wish I held the patent on the patently absurd.

The themes for NBC’s Olympics telecasts have been well-established: 1) Don’t miss what’s coming up next, to the exclusion what’s going on now; 2) In sustaining the theme of its Super Bowl telecast, purchase NBC’s Peacock — immediately.

And there will be another generous scoop of rap-sheeted, ex-Crip, low-form rapper Snoop Dogg to again attract an audience that couldn’t care less, as NBC has become so woke it’s unconscious.

Thursday afternoon NBC had us roped and tied with live, furious action: The Canada-USA women’s hockey match was well into the third period, Canada up, 1-0, and the U.S. in frantic and effective chip-and-chase mode.