Team USA’s ticket to the quarterfinals is punched for real now.

Our dream team of stars and even bigger stars (and their manager who doubles as a TV star) remained alive in the World Baseball Classic derby — whether they deserved it or not. They rejoiced in relief, celebrating as spectators, escaping embarrassment for the baseball ages.

Team USA moves to the next round, perhaps the most dangerous team of the quarterfinals, while certainly the luckiest.

As it turned out, their ascension to the Elite Eight is no thanks to our thought-to-be-dreamy crew, who had a nightmare of a day Tuesday. That’s when they followed a memorable misstatement with a major misplay and embarrassing defeat to Team Italy, a band of seemingly big-game players, featuring fringe guys and a few recognizable big league stars who are killing it.